What Needs to be Said
by willowplwm
Summary: AU where Harry is a metamorphmagus. In retaliation for a (completely unjust) detention, Harry decides to prank his Professor like he has never been pranked before. Or that's what it looks like, at least.


The absence of Harry Potter from the Great Hall at dinner caused much more of a stir than the absence of the Potions Professor, though Hermione, Ron, and Neville had particularly noticed it. The rest of the Hall was filled with the warm clatter of tableware and conversation, punctuated with the occasional laugh or gossiping gasp, but a little pocket of concerned silence hovered amidst the noise, surrounding the three friends at the Gryffindor table.

"Harry didn't have detention tonight, did he? I thought it was just the one," said Neville, brow creasing as he looked over to the doors for the fifth time in two minutes. Hermione followed his gaze.

"He didn't mention another detention…but he did stay in the Common Room when we left. Ron, what did he say?"

"'E'ked 'at-" Ron swallowed with difficulty as Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "He said that he'd be right down. Snape didn't give him an extra detention, did he? He would have said."

Hermione made no answer. Her friend had acted different all day, though she doubted either Ron or Neville had noticed it. He had stayed awake, for the most part, during History of Magic and had refused Ron's offer of a trick-wand duel during Charms. During lunch he had been rather quiet, only smirking at odd moments, though nothing had been funny at the time. The empty spot to the Headmaster's left was also concerning, even though it was not unusual for the Potions Professor to miss a meal.

Her thoughts were interrupted, however. The conversation in the Great Hall veered off so suddenly that the silence smacked and startled those slow on the uptake.

Music was echoing from outside the Hall. There was a pause as everybody stopped to raise an eyebrow at their neighbor, then a fourth of the students were out of the door before the others could begin clamoring out from the benches, scenting trouble. Hermione, Ron, and Neville were among them, and were some of the first to see what was in the entrance hall. Every student stopped in his tracks. Even after witnessing with a troll in a bathroom, a house-elf wearing a tea cozy, and Neville Longbottom jinxing her in the DA, Hermione had never seen such a strange sight.

Professor Snape was dancing in the Entrance Hall.

The music was loud and echoing and Snape was dancing his way down towards the Great Hall, halfway up the passage leading from the dungeons. The teachers, by this time, had pushed and shoo'd their way through the throng of black robes and open mouths and were standing at the edge of the crowd, just as speechless as the students, and it was at this moment that their sour and quite possibly drunk professor caused half the student population to have a heart attack.

"_Heeeeey,_ do it, now!"  
The whole school watched at Snape danced across the floor, either oblivious to or completely ignoring the hundreds of stares.

"Once I was a fun-kay singer…"

Professor Dumbledore covered his mouth with his hand, eyes twinkling. Snape gave a swift twirl, stomping to the music as his dark robes flew around him.

"Playing in a rock'n'roll BA-AND….I never had no problems, yeah…"

Snape raised his arms in the air and shook them.

"Burnin' down the one-night-sta-ands…."

McGonagall lost it, bending at the waist and gasping. The students had begun to move out of shock and into amusement, several of them trying not to giggle. Colin Creevey fumbled for his camera. Ron and Hermione were clutching at each other's arms, staggering against Neville, who was still quite shell-shocked.

"Yeah, they were dancin', and singin', and-"

Snape _wriggled_.

"Movin' to the groovin'. And just when…it hit me…" He threw his arms into the air again, thrusting one hip out to the side.

"Somebody turned around and shouted _PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC, WHITE BOY!"_

McGonagall nearly fell; she grabbed onto Professor Dumbledore's shoulder, her other hand clutching at a stitch in her side, unable to make a sound. Quite a few of the students were bobbing their heads and tapping their feet to the echoing music, most of them screaming in laughter after the shock had completely worn off.

"Play that funky music _RI-I-IGHT!"_

Neville finally was overcome; helooked between the rest of the students and the assuredly _very_ smashed Snape, and could not help but begin to grin.

Unfortunately, he did not get much of a chance to enjoy it, because Snape had stopped dancing. The music cut off rather suddenly, too, and the crowd was parting as a tall and extremely enraged figure cut through it like butter. Professor Snape stepped out of the crowd, looking at himself standing in the middle of the hallway, the other Snape still out of breath from dancing.

The silence could have killed. Indeed, the newly-arrived Snape's glare seemed to be attempting just that. Hermione clutched at Ron's arm and hissed, "Oh my god – it's Harry!"

The student body and Professor Trelawney jumped as the first Snape began to sing again.

"I took my troubles down to Maaaa-dam Rue…"

First Snape held his arms out to the new Snape, grinning like a clown, which, on Snape's face, was quite frankly terrifying, especially when contrasted with the bared-toothed snarl on the new Snape's face.

"You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth…she's got a pad down at Thirty-Fourth and Vine, selling little bottles of…"

He pointed a finger waggishly at the glaring Snape.

"…Love Potion Number Nine!"  
At this point both Neville and Trelawney were overcome with giggles. The new Snape looked over the heads of the students, spotting every laughing teacher present and several of the school ghosts that had floated by to see the sight of Professor Snape dancing.

"I told her that I was a flop with chicks…I've been this way since 1956…."

The student body gasped with laughter as the first Snape jiggled and gave some kind of skip over to the Divinations professor.

"She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign, she said 'What you need is…"

He looked over his shoulder at his unamused double.

"…'Love Potion Number Niiiiine.'"

And he smirked.

"She bent down-" He bent down. "-And turned around-" He turned around. "-And gave me a wink."

He winked at his doppelgänger. Scowling Snape began to start forward, and then seemed to change his mind. He settled down at the fringe of the crowd and crossed his arms. Apparently he seemed settled with letting his dancing double dig a deeper hole for himself.

"…Said 'I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink…"

The students began to get uneasy as the mood darkened in the hallway. Dancing Snape seemed to notice this, however, because he settled down, quieting the music with a wave and looking around the crowd.

And then he spotted McGonagall.

Snape jumped over to her, robes flying, and leaned against her shoulder.

"WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT," he hollered. "_WOAH OH WOAH OH WOAH OH OH…"_

She slapped him away, amusement flashing across her face, but she straightened up, at which point the other Snape decided enough was enough.

"Potter," he said, very quietly. Half the student body shrank away from him. The other Snape took one look at him and was gone.

"POTTER!"

Both Snapes ran down the hallway, skidding around the corner as one caught up with the other, out of sight of the students and staff. McGonagall allowed herself one more smile before smoothing her robes.

"Students, back into the Great Hall, thank you…"

Around the corner, new Snape grabbed his double by the arm, twisting him around, but when the other Snape turned, both Snapes grinned.

The new Snape looked around the corner, and shrank, hair growing wilder, eyes lightening to a bright green, and suddenly the dancing Snape was looking at a smirking Harry Potter, who clutched his side as he silently laughed.

"That was _fantastic!_" He gasped. The real Snape cast a silencing charm around them, looking rather amused himself.

Harry pulled himself together, somewhat.

"Absolutely brilliant, Professor, seriously –"  
"Yes, Potter, I know. You played your part well, I must admit."  
Harry smiled. They had discussed the particulars of this prank the day before. Who exactly had suggested it, and who had first agreed, Harry wasn't sure – but he knew this would go down in Hogwarts history.

They began to part but, as Harry started to trot down the corridor, Snape called from behind.

"And, Potter…"

Harry turned.

"Should you ever discuss the truth of this prank with anyone but myself, I assure you, you shall be in detention from now until your graduation day."

And he turned and left. Harry watched him go, and, grinning softly to himself, headed for the Great Hall.


End file.
